Making Changes to Make Me Happy

Have you ever woken up and say to yourself “I’m just not happy?”. Well, I did that not so long ago and I knew at that moment that I had to make some changes and changes I did! What changes did I make you ask? Well, I quit my job yesterday Yes, I am no longer employed at a corporate job and I have to tell you it feels amazing. Let me say that louder….AMAZING!

I figured out long ago that I no longer got joy out of my job and that turned into resentment and that turned into me being weighed down with negative energy. I had figured out what was making me unhappy but the problem was, that unhappy job was paying my bills and more. That unhappy job had been my career for decades and the simple fact was….I was a 57 year old miserable woman making a great living. So there I was, stuck in a career and sacrificing my happiness. Yesterday I decided to picked my happiness.

But let me stop here and back up a little because we need to look back at the first couple of months of 2022 to see how I got to the outcome of me changing my life direction in the most major fashion.

Rewind to New Year’s Day. 2022 started off just like any other year. I stayed up long enough to tell Brandon “Happy New Year” (Robert doesn’t make it past 9:00). Got up the next morning, worked on my social media, watched some Netflix and then made black eyed peas (there’s my Southern side showing) and cornbread. That’s when the changes started and they haven’t stopped yet. I burnt my peas and the cornbread that I have made for years just didn’t turn out like it usually did. I sat there and wondered what happened. What did I do different? Was it me? Was it the peas” I didn’t do anything different but the outcome was different nonetheless. Funny how that happens and I should have known then and there that this year was going to be about changes.

Shortly after the pea and cornbread debacle, a close friend of our family was tragically taken from us in a car accident. He was a driver for the wine tour company that we all worked with years ago. He was the type of person who you could call and say “Darryl, I need….” and he would stop you right there and say “What can I do.” We all know someone like that and he was our person. His death hit me in a way that I wasn’t expecting. Yes, I was sad but more than that, it shook me to the point where I started taking a harder look at my own life. I remember sitting in the parking lot near my home and just thinking about him. He would pick me up in that exact parking lot in the tour bus and we would talk for hours. I always looked forward to our time together because I spent more time talking to him then doing anything else. As I sat there thinking about our conversations and how we would laugh at just about everything. I thought about how quickly he was taken. He no longer gets any more “do overs” or “next times” his time was up but mine wasn’t. I still had a chance to change. I could change the things that were making me so horribly unhappy and make things right.

Now you would think this is all I would need to start making those changes, but it wasn’t. I was still too scared to make any major move. I knew I wanted to but wasn’t ready to make that kind of change. I told myself that my day would come and I would quit soon or later but things had to happen first. I had to have a certain amount of money in bank. I had to have a certain amount of followers on social media. I had to be farther along across my social media platform. The list just kept going. Until Tracy died.

Tracy was a co-worker that I had worked with years before. To be completely honest we weren’t that close but we knew each other from working together. She was the type of person that always seemed happy no matter what. She was one of them. Tracy always had a dream to move to Belize and retire, and she had in fact lived her dream and moved a year ago. Last month Tracy had a heart attack and died. She lost her do-overs and next times just a quickly as Darryl lost his. This time, this time I decided to stop living in fear of my own do-overs and next times and do something now. This time I decided to give myself that freedom to do what I needed to do to be happy.

Now I’m not the type of person who decides to do something then think about it forever. Nope, I’m the type of person who says she’s going to do something and it’s done. But this, decision effected more than just me. It directly effected both of my children because both of my boys worked with me. Yes, they could have stayed and worked after I was gone but neither of them were any happier than I was. So the meeting was called and the decisions were made. We were going to all change careers and we would all go into social media. Some things we will do together (our Podcast We’re In Trouble Now) and some individually. But the really cool things was that we were all going to jump into our new lives together. We had all decided to give ourselves that freedom. There you go – the plan was made and in motion. We were going quit by my birthday (my birthday is in August). I wanted to give my company time to find a replacement and transfer over the account I had and make everything smooth and everyone happy, everyone but me that is. I have to tell you, once you get the feel of “I’m going to do what makes me happy” it’s hard to put it on hold. Meaning my 4 month notice turned into 3 months, which turned into 2 months, which ended up being 7 days. 7 long days of waiting for my do-over.

Today was the glorious 1st day of the rest of my life. By no means will the coming days, months or years be easy. I will have to work harder than before. I have to budget every dollar I have saved and I will have to think steps ahead to make sure I make the correct choices. But those choices are mine and I’m excited to see where this journey takes me. I’m excited to see what amazing things can happen since giving myself the freedom to follow my heart.

My message to you: If you are currently in an unhappy place, I hope I have given you the same motivation to make changes that Darryl and Tracy gave me. I’m not saying to quit your job, but I am saying don’t be scared of change and give yourself the freedom to make the changes necessary. You are important and you deserve happiness just like the next person.

Until next time….

Published by grayhairandtattoos

Just your normal 56 year old woman figuring out life with gray hair and tattoos. Oops now I'm 57 and still trying to figure out life!

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