I’m not sure is it just me, or does it seem like everyone and their cousin has a fucking opinion?
Now let’s be clear on this. I don’t mind opinions when I ask for them, let me repeat that last part…..when I ask for them. I ask for opinions from my co-workers for their thoughts on certain work subjects. I ask my oldest son for his opinion on fashion. I will stop and ask Robert for his opinion on which pair of shoes I should wear or which top goes best with those pants. I will ask my youngest son Brandon for his opinion on how I should handle certain situations. He always tells me the truth and won’t sugarcoat an answer. I know I’m getting the honest truth from both of them and I 100% want their option and value what they have to say. Asking for an opinion is one thing, unwanted opinions in another.
Now, what I do not understand is that person who comes onto my social media accounts and gives me their opinion on matters that have absolutely nothing to do with them. I am not in their world, my presence on this earth has nothing to do with them, however; they feel that it is necessary to stop and give negative comments. They comment on what I am wearing, my hair color, my tattoos and even my age. Again, I don’t know these people and what they think about these things just doesn’t matter to me. I would never ever think of taking time out of my day to stop to tell someone to get a tattoo. I would never stop to tell someone to stop coloring their hair. I certainly would never tell anyone that their style is not age appropriate (that one right there is a subject for a different day). So how is it that someone thinks they can do that to me or to anyone for that matter? When and where in society did it become okay to do this? Was there a town meeting somewhere that I wasn’t invited to where they decided this kind of behavior was okay? Did a bunch of people get together and decided that if you don’t look a certain way they have the power to tell them so? I guess the bigger question was, did anyone at this meeting raise their hand and say it wasn’t a good idea? Or I am I the only one thinking that this should have been vetoed.
I know for a fact that I’m extremely lucky on my social media platforms because I do escape a lot of the unwanted opinion madness. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t get those opinions, because I do. I get enough of these comments that it made me decide to sit down and figure out a game plan. I needed to figure out how I was going to deal with the opinions. Here’s what I came up with 1) I would not let the unwanted opinions stop me. 2) I would not let them make me feel bad about being my true authentic self. 3) I would not give a shit about what they said and #4) I would push forward with the message. I personally think this is a great game plan.
So, let’s look a little deeper at the game plan and hopefully you will find something that will help you deal with the same issue. I know that no matter who you are, you are dealing with someone who is going to give you their unwanted opinion and unfortunately more times than not, it’s not a positive one.
#1: Do not let unwanted opinions stop you.
What I mean is just that. Do not let these opinions stop you. When people tell me that I’m too old, I hear “Keep going Lonni”. I know that I’m making people uncomfortable and change requires people to be uncomfortable. These opinions do not stop me, they don’t even slow me down. Nope, they do the reverse. These opinions tell me I’m making a difference, they give me the push to keep going and make me speak louder. So the next time someone tells you that unwanted opinion, tell yourself “good job” because you just made them uncomfortable and that means you are standing out.
#2: Do not let unwanted opinions stop you from being you.
What I mean by this is this. These unwanted opinions are like small particles of negativity that land on you. Now one or two particles can be brushed off and you easily go on about your day. But when you are bombarded by these negative comments day in and day out they start to build up. Then all of sudden you wearing a heavy jacket of negativity and that will start to affect how you think about yourself. You have to make sure that you recognize what’s going on. That you understand that these opinions mean nothing to you so don’t let them build up. If you struggle with the weight of unwanted opinions, look at them like this. Those opinions are coming from a place inside that other person, not you. I guarantee you that they don’t give a rat’s ass about your hair or clothes. They are simply trying to hurt you because they have unresolved issues and they only way they know how to deal with them is by lashing out at others. To tear them down and bring others to their level. So the next time some says
#3: Do not give a shit about those unwanted opinions.
I chose to not give shit. No only do I not going to give a shit, but I use these unwanted, unrequested opinions as my fuel to push forward when self doubt gets into the way. Anytime I start to feel self doubt creep in, I look at a comment telling me I’m too old for tattoos. When I feel that my message isn’t being heard, I look at a comment telling me I shouldn’t dress like a teenage. When I just get tired and want to go to sleep, I read a comment telling me to dress my age. Little do these people know that their words are not hurting me, they are helping me dig deeper than I ever thought I could. They are helping me find the strength that I need to push pass my own self doubt. Their words don’t hurt me, they motivate me.
#4: I will push forward with my message.
Last but not least. These unwanted opinions do nothing but remind me each and every time, that there are people being verbally abused on a daily basis and they have been beaten down by these words. These opinions remind me that I do have a voice and I need to speak up for them. These opinions remind that I have a voice for myself and I have a voice for them. This opinions will not stop me, slow me down of hurt me in any way.
So in short, it is up to each and every one of us to decide how we are going to react and deal with unwanted opinions. They aren’t going way and as social media grows in popularity and society becomes dulled to this, we will see them more and more people willing to share their unwanted opinions. The sting isn’t going to go away but our power to deal them can shield their unwanted negative affects.