Election Night Story Time

As I sit here glued to the TV, flipping through the channels and hanging on every word, I have decided to give myself a break from reality for a moment at least. And what better way to do that than with a story.

We all have stories. Some stories are funny, some are sad and some weird BUT all stories tell us something about who we are. My stories always seem to point back to the fact that I get myself into trouble. A lot! So sit back and enjoy my election night story.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Lonni who was always the smallest in her class. She had large green eyes, always wore her brown hair in two large braids, never wore a dress and always found herself getting into trouble. Maybe it was her never-ending curiosity or maybe it was the sheer lack of parental supervision but either way she and mischief were the best of friends.

Now, this little girl and her overwhelming desire to push every envelope that ever crossed her path, had a bodyguard. Not just any bodyguard, she had the biggest badass that Dora Drive had ever seen. This bodyguard struck fear in the hearts of all who made the fatal mistake of picking on this mischievous child. This bodyguard was her sister.

Born 5 years earlier into a family that had little to no need for softness, this older sister took it upon herself to protect, love and guide her little sister. She protected her sister from other kids, gave her comfort when she was sick and sheltered her when life got angry. She grew up hard and wanted to make sure that her little sister had a softer life.

She protected her from all of these things and more, accept for one thing. She couldn’t protect her against her pet turtle. Named Charlie Brown, this desert turtle lived in their backyard and basically minded his own business, ate leaves and moved, well as slow as a turtle. In Lonni’s eyes he was a menacing dinosaur that had nothing be evil intentions and was faking his slowness. So everyday when her sister went to school she would muster up the courage and go into the back yard to face her foe. As we all know, all good heroines need weapons, but weapons are not easy to come by when you are 4. This did not stop her, she would just have to make her own. Now Lonni was a quick thinker and what better thing to fight with a turtle with than leaves. So she would scour the yard to find leaves large and small. Once she couldn’t carry anymore she would head off to find Charlie Brown. Once she laid eyes on him, she carefully made her way close enough to fire off her arsenal of leaves and then run for safety.

Let’s take a minute and look at this from the turtle’s point of view. Hi, I’m Charlie Brown and I’m minding my own business. I’m just standing here and think about walking over there to that part of the yard. Hmmm, I know it will take me at least half a day to get there and now I’m not really sure I want to go. Oh wait, here comes that little girl again and she’s bringing me an armful of food. I’ll just stand here and wait for her. Gosh, I’m not sure why she’s throwing the food at me and running away, but I’m going to follow her and thank her. She is so nice.

This scene played out over and over, day after day. Her Mom would tell her to just stay away from the turtle, jut the little girl knew deep down inside that if she didn’t strike first, Charlie Brown would get the upper hand. She new better than to just stay away. Finally after months of gladiator style backyard fighting, the little girl’s Mom just had enough and someone had to go. But who? Who would be the unlucky one to be packed up and shipped off. As much as her sister loved her, she did not want to see her turtle go and voted to keep Charlie Brown. Luckily for the little girl, cooler heads prevailed and she got to stay.

The End

This story is dedicated to my amazing badass sister who spent the majority of her life and my life protecting me. She fought bullies for me, listened to me when I needed to be heard, raised me when our parents were not around and I don’t care what she said, I know she loved me more than that damn turtle. I lost my bodyguard 13 years, 360 days ago (but who’s counting). My Sister passed away after a brief battle with a very agressive cancer. I felt like a part of me died with her that day and it took me years to learn how to be a complete person. I cannot explain the amount of love and respect that I have for that woman. She was one of the good ones. But, I have a lot of stories about her and will share them all with you. I told you the Charlie Brown story today because even at the end we were still talking and laughing about this. I remember sitting next to her at the hospital while she slept (at least I thought she was sleeping) when she suddenly opens her eyes, looks over at me and says “You know he was a fucking turtle and you could have outrun him, right?” We had such a good laugh over this and fact that I fought him with food. She always asked me “What where you thinking” and the truth is I don’t really know. It is just who and I am and like I said. I aways seem to get myself into trouble.

Until next time…..